Tank Dempsey vs Nikolai Belinski
Tank Dempsey vs Nikolai Belinski is the season 1 premiere and series premiere for JMB Rap Battles. It features Call of Duty American marine Tank Dempsey against Russian marine from the same game franchise, Nikolai Belinski. Cast Zander Kanack as Tank Dempsey Ivo Hora as Nikolai Belinski B-Lo Lorbes as Takeo Masaki Mat4yo as Dr. Richtofen Justin Buckner as The Demonic Announcer, Teddy Bear, Samantha Maxis (Video), and Vladimir LeninCameo Froggy as Dr. Maxis Stofferex as Samantha Maxis (Audio) Britney as Fluffy (Video) Nathan Provost as Fluffy (Audio) and Joseph Stalin Cameo RLYoshi as Zombie Lyrics Tank Dempsey Hello, freakbag, welcome to the Nacht Der Untoten I'm gonna rip you up like all the letters that you wrote in 1918, I can run like a tank yet you still haven't learned tell me Chernov, have you ever recovered from that burn? I'm going ballistic on Belinski, this Lenin supporting queer fucking mess with me again, I'll use your guts as a Bandolier I'll circumcise you then impale your throat with your own dick if I can bite open a cage I can handle this prick Nikolai Belinski After I gut you alive I'll show you the meaning of Red Army lyrically drink you like vodka before you have a chance to scar me even Stalin himself cannot stare into my eye Your rhymes are just as fishy as your Quick Revive I'll slaughter your daughter and then I'll slaughter your father throw them in my wives' graves so you don't have to bother you have no family, no fame, I'll take your kills in account why don't you ask your friend Peter if he wants to hang out? Takeo Masaki I'm Takeo, and I'm taking you flowing like a broken faucet stop writing your letters and come out of your skeletal closet Nikki, you're only feared because it's scary how much you're a wussy I think you're all just jealous I'm the one that's sliced pussy Dempsey, no need to be upset, you have an STD Flopper If I'm gonna take you out it's death before dishonor you bitches are just glitches who do nothing but lag I'm out, with the help of the Emporer, I defeated you fags Edward Richtofen The doctor is here to heal your terrible burns think you can all slay zombies? Well now it's my turn leck mich, this story's about me, not you communists now I'mma turn Belinski's coat redder than it already is ay, Takeo what the Verrückt do you think you can do? I'll send you back to the moon cause you're all out of JuJu I'll butcher any bitch who thinks he can clinch to win screw vodka, I'll drink your blood right off the hands of Richtofen Demonic Announcer The four of you just stop and let the true master take this without my aid, you guys wouldn't make it past round six spawning Insta-Kill, Double Points, Fire Sale, Carpenter, Max Ammo, Nukes you better fucking prevail to the one and only entity that allows you to live you guys have took it too far and I shan't forgive bow down to me, I'm the one that makes the choices you all need to stop fighting cause I can not stand your voices you don't like the sodas? get over it and have a cup or I'll shove an Iron Fist up your ass and provide you anti-power-ups so before the players are crying about the fact they're gonna die why don't you guys just work together and everything will be fine Ludvig Maxis Greetings, weaklings, in this rap, you'll be eaten alive and regretfully, I must inform that none of you will survive when the clock strikes 1:15 prepare to get sent back I'll viciously attack, Maxis is gonna leave you maxed it's time to distort you into proportions like a radio message don't mess with Group 935 unless you're looking for some wreckage this emcee's ill like an MD so you better make no sound I'm ripping you fools up call me Samantha's hellhound Samantha Maxis Daddy, I'm scared, I don't want to be alone hide me from these strangers, I just want to go home I'll just shelter in my room and just hold on to Teddy here, play with Fluffy, I hope you're ready Fluffy It's Fluffy, canine emcee, going hard on this bitch I'm like a hound out of Hell, rhymes about to switch my bark's louder than my bite, ya'll about to glitch I'll be howlin', growlin' undead it's about time to ditch Zombie Brains..... my flow is insane... you can't break my lyrical chain... because I'm bringing the pain... the undead will reign! my rhymes are hot, see, burning disses like a Nazi you can't defeat this zombie, I'll shake your brains out like Yahtzee! call me Wreck-It-Ralph, because I'll destroy your fixed barrier you can't escape my wrath, spawn away, I make shit scarier we're at a verbal war, my flows are like brains because I munch rhymes you'll know you're dead when I'm feasting on your head like it's lunch time Tank Dempsey Guys, in order for us to win we have to work together we're gonna show these freaks in every way that we're better Nikolai Belinski Agreed, let's charge these communists and pack a punch and beat their ass after we finish them off, we'll celebrate with a brand new vodka glass Takeo Masaki Come on, boys, we're gonna show them who's boss ... no more experiments, after they've seen that they've lost Edward Richtofen When together, our unstoppable force can not be broken these schiesse ficks won't win they ain't rich like 'tofen Tank Dempsey Step back, Doctor Maxis, your shit is just whack using zombies to protect yourself? you sure got no sack Nikolai Belinski And who's this little bitch, Samantha? huh, what a wreck Edward Richtofen She'll scream when we break that pussy dog's neck! Tank Dempsey Good work, team, we know for sure that they've lost now let's see what the hell is in this mystery box (Tank Dempsey opens the Mystery Box, revealing Teddy Bear.) Teddy Bear Time to pay your toll just like I'll steal this box... I'LL STEAL YOUR SOULS!!!! Trivia * This is the first battle of JMB Rap Battles. * This is the longest battle, with 10 different rappers.